No Witnesses

The sounds of the clock ticking back and forth
I hear the crickets chirping outside my window
With my head tilted back against the pillow on my bed
I begin to fade…
An aroma, somewhat sweet
Enters the room
From the lobby
I try to face my intruder
But, before I do…I begin to fade
I hear water dripping from the faucet
And the air in here is quite hostile
My body grows weak and nauseous
I collapse on the ground…and begin to fade
Out in the grass I can see flowers
Roses and tulips but the smell is sour
I feel a presence approach me from behind
I glance back to see a spirit behind the vines
It grabs my hand and takes me along for a ride
But, I can’t see my destination
I do not believe I have circulation
I gasp for air to breathe
But all I can feel is---
Suffocation!
My body---dying in front of me
I have already departed my flesh---spiritually
I have died…instantly
And there were no witnesses to this tragedy

Copyright 09 June 2010, Moniquea Brown

Broken Seal (Sequel of "I Accept but I Reject")

Broken Seal

The purpose of a seal is to protect the contents of something
Its purpose is to prevent contaminants from engaging in contact with the substance
But what if the seal is broken?
The result would be that the substance is left vulnerable
Yes, vulnerability can be dangerous
It’s serious because once the contaminant has done its job
The victim is helpless
Helplessness and fear are terrible emotions to experience
Because you wonder if that contaminant is going to return
And once again “hurt” you
Or maybe this time it won’t be just one contaminant
But, several contaminants that come to “devour” you
So, what should you do to protect that seal?
Making it as strong as possible could work---
If and only if that contaminant doesn’t have something bigger
And better to destroy it…and once again
Come for you---its previous victim
The process can be repeated over and over again
And those emotions can reignite countless times again
But the pain of the event never goes away
The feelings of anxiety
And not knowing when or how it will happen, you will never forget
You feel as if you cannot protect yourself
So you are left unprepared
You hope that somehow the seal can be repaired
And you hope that the pain will disappear
But it never happens and you are left in despair
With no one to turn to
And no one to understand you
Except for your assailant who could care less about you
Now who must you run to?

There is no one to run to
This world is very cold
And the tribulations of life can leave you torn
Ripped to pieces and shreds
Over something that you could never have prevented

Copyright 08 June 2010, Moniquea Brown

Dawn

Dawn

Represents a new beginning
Represents a new life
Represents a new cycle
Represents a new time

The rays of the sun stretch out across the planet
The plants and trees slowly awake from their dreams
The animals, if not nocturnal, start rustling among the leaves
And here I am in my bed, enjoying the scene
But once again I awake alone
With no one beside me
No one to call my own
And share this home
I sit here and wonder if maybe this is all a dream
That you really are here with me---although invisibly
But, somehow that theory is impossible
Since our love ended quite some time ago
Why can’t I wake up from you and start over again?
Why can’t I, like dawn, create a new beginning?
Somehow my heart has given up on love
And somehow my mind won’t allow me interest in anyone
Other than you, your love
Was poisonous
Your passion
Was dangerous
Although your commitment to me seemed continuous
Where did I go wrong?
Where did we fall?
Because, I am unable to get over you
I am unable to see you
With someone else
And to me you are bullet-proof
And I am see-through
So, I guess unlike dawn we are not renewable
Our love unscrupulous
We faded—the two of us
Unable to cope with the newness

Transience

Day and night both come and go fleetingly
The tide of the ocean may appear doubly
During the year gray clouds can bring about showers
And the water from the downpour may linger for hours

However, the transience of these events means nothing to me
Since, being with you could last for an eternity
Hopefulness or maybe desperation keeps me clinging to you
But, only if you would confirm to me that this love we share is true

I strongly wish that our love would evolve
But, all that I am getting from you is unanswered phone calls
Text messages, e-mails, and sometimes even voice mails
So, what is it exactly that you are trying to communicate?

Transience is only meant for things that have a compliment
As for the day its compliment is night
And darkness has its brother light
But, what compliment is there for me without you in my life?

I thought being with you had completed me
But, now you have revealed to me your lack of curiosity
Curiosity for what I once thought was a love for me
Physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually

So, now that you are gone I am left with insecurities and loneliness
In search of something that never really existed
Something that I once thought could have been permanent
But, your presence in this relationship ended up being transient

Copyright June 06 2010, Moniquea Brown

The Trampled Path

Examining your footprints
Outlined in the dirt
I begin to stand up
With my head still faced downward
Looking at the earth

I begin to walk down the path
Of which many footprints I begin to notice
But somehow, out of all of them
I recognize your shoe image

But while I look at these footprints
Outlined in the dirt
I am reminded of another path
One that caused me much hurt

Though this path was not physical
It was emotional
And though you may not be able to see it
Somehow it’s visible

Possibly visible because only I could see it
Or maybe because I was the only one who could feel it
Because like those footprints
This path was also trampled over
The path that I am speaking about is my heart
Me being so naïve, I allowed many to embark on the journey
So if you were to look inside my soul
You would see that it too has been traveled frequently

Many and many times before
Over and over my heart was broke
But then you came along
Your footprint so unique and conspicuous
Who wouldn’t have noticed?

And just as visible as your footprint was in the dirt
It was in my heart
And it was in my soul
Because the day when you approached me
I knew that I could close the door

I could close the door to the path
Of which so many had traveled
But what’s so special about you
Was not only your unique footprint

What was so special about you
Was not even that my soul recognized you in an instant
But what was so special about you
Was that out of all the men who trampled over my heart
You knew that I was innocent

I was innocent because I so desperately wanted to be loved
I so desperately wanted to find someone
Who I could trust
But love comes on its on time
And looking back into my heart I see that you’ve been missed

You came and went like night and day
I had no time to rationalize or so I went astray
Now, I am left alone
And you are gone

So unlike the footprints in the dirt
That can be removed with a swaying of the foot
My heart remains trampled
And your footprint remains embossed on it

Copyright March 16 2010, Moniquea Brown

Forgotten Memories

Glistening in the water is an image of your face
I stand here looking at the river in distress
The trees are swaying from left to right under the sun
The sound of rushing water is murmured to a low hum

I walk up the lining of the river towards a waterfall
I am taking aback by its mystique
Beauty seems only in the eyes of the beholder
But a waterfall has no eyes to see

Nostalgia starts kicking in because I can hear your voice
I whisper quietly to the trees
The wind comes and enfolds my body
Being here seems nothing more than a dream

A dream that I could never make reality
A dream that I wish to never wake up from
But the thought of you seems reoccurring
Your death keeps me in mourning

Mourning because I will never find another like you
Mourning because you will never experience the taste of pleasure again
I will never feel you lips against mine
I will never feel your touch, which is somewhat divine

Memories of you make me feel so secure
But you are not in love with me anymore
You have moved on to someone else
And all I am left with are forgotten memories of the past


Copyright March 14 2010, Moniquea Brown

Distance Doesn't Have To Hurt (Dedicated to Will)

Your eyes are the color of island fresh water
Your body tone is that of mocha chocolate
Your energy is similar to that the sun
And your persona can’t be compared to anyone

I love talking to you since your spirit is so light
Although I cannot be near you
Your presence somehow is still in sight

Sometimes I do forget certain aspects of your being
But that doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate you…seriously

You’re so full of love and so ready to give
Although many cannot recognize such a wonderful gift
Though in its rarity it brought me much joy
But no I have never mistaken your kindness for a toy

I hope that in the future we will finally meet face to face
Yet, I have told you I have no plans in committing
But to be your friend seems truly a gift from heaven
So hopefully you won’t mistake our friendship as ephemeral

Copyright March 14 2010, Moniquea Brown